Even though some couples prefer monogamy, others love to explore open relationships to add more substance to their sex lives. Swinging can be great for those in committed relationships, married couples, and singles who want to explore sexual activities with various partners.
Swinging involves people in relationships that have sexual relationships with other participants. That practice is more common than you imagine. Some couples go in fully and soon establish themselves as lifelong swingers, while others would rather remain monogamous.
So, Who are Swingers?
They are singles or couples that decide to have relationships, permitting their partners to have sex with other people, with their full permission.
Swinger lifestyle can work for anyone willing to follow the rules, be honest, get tested for STIs, respect other participants, use protection, be selective in deciding partners, and remaining private about it.
People who are engaged in the swinger lifestyle report higher quality and quantity of sex, both within and outside their relationship or marriage, and a stronger emotional and physical connection with their partner.
Note that swinging is not the same as polygamy, which is another form of open relationship where various partners develop physical and romantic feelings among themselves.
Even though those involved in the swinger lifestyle come from all walks of life, one common factor binds them, which is that they love engaging in sexual activities with various partners and with the permission of their spouses. Despite what some think, those involved in swinging are normal humans that decide to explore their sexuality differently.
What you should know before engaging in a swinger lifestyle
- Not everyone has to engage in swinging
Just as it is with other forms of relationships, such as polygamy and monogamy, swinging is not a universally successful experience – nor does it the cause of a failed relationship.
Some couples simply love open relationships, while others prefer monogamy. Some people discover that swinging improves their relationship, but others find it creates more issues.
Just as you need to consider the pros and cons of marriage, you should also weigh the positives and negatives of a swinger lifestyle before engaging in it. Speak to your partner about it.
- Rules are very important
Often, most experienced swingers say that the only necessary rules are those set by individual couples. You and your partner are the experts in your relationship – both of you know what will work best for you.
Therefore, even though you can learn from relationship gurus and experienced couples, your unique knowledge about subjective experiences makes you the ultimate expert in your love and sexual lives.
You need to establish rules before engaging in swinging. Talk to your partner and answer as many questions as you can to prepare for all the possible outcomes. Answer questions such as:
- Do you have sexual activities that are off-limits?
- What are the sexual activities that you’re most comfortable with?
- How will you let your partner know if you get uncomfortable with a couple?
- What is your safe word or signal that you’ll use in case you’re no more interested?
- What should your partner do when you use the safe word?
- Which people are you interested in?
- Would you rather swing in public or in private?
- Would you want to play with a couple more than once?
- Do you want to develop a lasting relationship with other couples or just want casual sex?
- What will be your action if your partner gets interested in someone else?
- Will you contact your partner during the swinging experience?
- How do you intend to meet other couples – in-person or online?
- Set clear boundaries
Every swinger should have some ground rules to abide by so that they’re very comfortable with the lifestyle. For example, some swingers only permit foreplay while others encourage penetration.
Some people will want to engage in threesomes, and others would rather go their separate ways and have casual sex separately before coming back together. Speak with your partner to decide what you’re most comfortable with – and only move forward when you reach a mutual understanding.
Just as it is with sexual sex – there are different ways to try out the swinger lifestyle. Before you swing, ensure that you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. Some vital terminologies to keep in mind are:
- Soft swap
- Hard Swap
- Lifestyle
- Community
- Have a signal
New swingers might easily get uncomfortable or nervous in the heat of the moment – a signal would be your natural response.
You don’t want to find yourself in an awkward condition without the proper way to get yourself out. Have a code word with your partner so that your communication can be smooth throughout the swinging experience.
Conclusion
Various things can potentially go wrong if you don’t communicate with your partner. Discuss what each of you wants and how far you both want to go. Insecurity and jealousy can ruin your relationship; it is, therefore, necessary that you talk about the things you’re permitted to do and those you’re not for any possible sexual experience.